When we learned that I had cancer, we were six months away from my planned retirement.
Becky and I were already processing all the emotions that came with that transition. We had dreams for the next season of our lives—more time with family, travel, missions, and eventually a new home.
I was also quietly dealing with the emotions of leaving a congregation and community I loved dearly. I shared those feelings with Becky, but as pastor, I believed my responsibility was to help our board and congregation prepare confidently and hopefully for the future.
Then came cancer.
Suddenly, our conversations changed. Retirement plans gave way to doctor’s appointments, surgeries, hospital stays, life-changing physical realities, and one setback after another.
I preached my final message at Woodland with both an ileostomy and a urostomy. Then I went into the hospital for another surgery to reverse the ileostomy.
Crisis has a way of changing the conversation.
It reminds us how little control we have over tomorrow. But it can also remind us of something far greater: although we do not know what tomorrow holds, we know that God holds tomorrow—and He will be with us when tomorrow comes.
Nehemiah’s response to devastating news has become meaningful to me:
“When I heard this, I sat down and cried. In fact, I refused to eat for several days, for I spent the time in prayer to the God of heaven. ‘O Lord God,’ I cried out; ‘O great and awesome God who keeps his promises and is so loving and kind to those who love and obey him! Hear my prayer!’” Nehemiah 1:4–6, The Living Bible
Notice what Nehemiah did. He sat down. He cried. He prayed. He remembered who God was and what God had promised. Then he got up with a plan and moved forward in faith.
That has been our experience too.
If you are facing a crisis, or when one eventually comes into your life, here are seven things Becky and I have learned.
1. Feed Your Faith
We intentionally fed our faith with the promises of God.
We prayed, read Scripture, and tried to remain open to God’s plan even when it was different from ours. We had good plans for retirement, but even good plans must be surrendered to God.
“We can make our plans, but the final outcome is in God’s hands.” Proverbs 16:1, The Living Bible
Faith does not mean God will always answer our prayers in the way we expect. Faith means that when God’s path is different from the one we prayed for, we keep trusting Him.
Make your plans. Pray over them. Dream. Prepare. But hold your plans with open hands.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Weep.
“Weeping may go on all night, but in the morning there is joy.” Psalm 30:5, The Living Bible
I have learned through the years that tears can be a beautiful expression of faith. Sometimes tears are the language of faith when we don’t have words left to pray.
After my first surgery, I went through a very dark period. For several days I could not shake the feeling that I wasn’t going to get better. I hated what had happened to my body. I hated what my family was going through. At one point, I even asked the Lord to take me home.
I tell you that because it happened.
Faith does not require us to pretend.
Elijah knew something about this. After the tremendous victory on Mount Carmel, he was threatened with death and fell into despair:
“I’ve had enough,” he told the Lord. “Take away my life.” 1 Kings 19:4, The Living Bible
And what did God do? God met him in his despair.
The Bible, and especially the Psalms, doesn’t teach us to pretend. God’s people cried, questioned, lamented, and sometimes wondered where God was. But they kept bringing their pain to God rather than running away from Him.
Run to God. Don’t run from Him. Tell Him exactly how you feel and keep talking to Him. I have often said, “After the tears comes the strength.” I believe that more than ever.
3. Treat God’s Word Like Food
Becky and I kept reading the Bible together.
We talked to the Lord about my health, our family, our fears, and the church we loved so deeply. We didn’t read Scripture merely to complete a devotional exercise. We treated God’s Word like food. We ingested it and digested it together.
There will be times in a crisis when you don’t need another opinion. You need a promise.
Find passages that remind you who God is. Read them slowly. Pray them. Write them down. Say them aloud. Return to them when your fear starts speaking louder than your faith.
4. Fill the Atmosphere With Praise and Worship
We filled our home with praise and worship music. There were days when we didn’t have the strength to sing very much ourselves, but someone else could sing what our hearts needed to remember.
Worship did not make the crisis disappear. It reminded us that Jesus was in the storm with us.
There is something powerful about praising God before the circumstances change. Worship turns our attention from the size of our problem to the greatness of our God. I created several worship playlists on my iPhone and connected them to the speakers throughout our home filling the house with the sounds of praise.
5. Surround Yourself With People of Faith
We invited people of faith to stay close to us. Their prayers, encouragement, visits, messages, and Scriptures strengthened us.
At times it felt as though God had built a fortress of faith-filled people around us who refused to give up.
And here is something I will never forget:
Not one of them said, “You just need to believe.” Instead, they believed with us. Sometimes, they believed for us.
There are moments in a crisis when you are exhausted, and your prayers become very short. That’s when you discover one of God’s great gifts, the body of Christ.
During one hospitalization, I made a very specific prayer request to the Lord for some food. A young woman from our church who is an RN came to see me. She told me she had felt impressed in her heart to bring me the very things I had asked God for. While she was there, one of our deacons arrived to pray with me and encourage me.
Their faith brought light and joy into a very dark day. Jesus touched me through their love. I think often about their visit.
Let people love you. Let them pray. Let them bring the meal. Let them sit with you. Let them remind you of God’s promises when you are too tired to remind yourself.
6. Ask Questions and Deal With Reality
Faith is not denial.
We asked questions about cancer, surgeries, recovery, and how my life might change. We talked about what this could mean for our family and retirement.
We listened to doctors. We made lists. We identified what we would need. We talked about finances and resources and considered who could help us.
Prayer and preparation are biblical expressions of faith.
You can believe God for a miracle while asking the doctor another question. You can trust God completely while making a list. You can have faith and still prepare for a difficult recovery.
Faith doesn’t ignore reality. Faith faces reality with God.
7. Keep Living Out Your Calling
One thing that helped me tremendously was continuing to think about something besides myself.
Even while facing cancer, we remained focused on helping our church family prepare for pastoral transition. I continued working with our Network Pastor, board, congregation, and pastoral candidates to prepare Woodland for its next chapter.
Looking back, I realize that continuing to serve gave me purpose during the crisis.
Your crisis may change how you fulfill your calling, but it doesn’t remove your calling.
Ask yourself: “Lord, what can I still do?”
Maybe you cannot do what you once did. Maybe your strength is limited. Maybe your plans have completely changed. But there is almost always someone you can encourage, someone you can pray for, someone you can love.
When You Don’t Know What Comes Next
I have often said, “If you can stand the pulling, God will pull you through.”
I understand that saying differently now. There were moments when I wasn’t standing very well.
Sometimes Becky helped hold me up. Sometimes our family held us up. Sometimes our friends and church family held us up. All along, God held us up.
For the first time in a long time, Becky and I believe we can see light at the end of this tunnel.
We have walked through some dark places—disappointments, tears, surgeries, hospital rooms, unanswered questions, changed plans, and moments when I wondered how much more we could take.
But we have never been without the presence of God, His Word, love, and hope. We have never been without people who loved us and prayed for us.
Growthwork: What to Do In a Crisis
- Feed your faith.
- Mourn your losses.
- Stay in God’s Word.
- Worship in the storm.
- Let people love you.
- Face reality with faith.
- Keep living your calling.
When you cannot see very far ahead, take the next step in faith, then another. You may not know how the story will unfold, but you can know Who is walking with you.
Grace and Peace!